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Parenting styles differ from one generation to the next. Only 29% of parents are raising their children in a similar way to how they were parented, with over 30% deliberately choosing a different parenting approach.
‘Gentle parenting’ is the latest parenting approach, focusing on compassion and reflection as founding principles of how to bring up your child. The term is used interchangeably with ‘positive parenting’, showcasing its focus on taking a patient and calm approach to children with a focus on boundaries and empathy.
Our guide explores this millennial approach to parenting, helping you understand if it’s the right style for you and your family. There are no hard or fast rules for gentle parenting, letting you tailor it to suit your circumstances.
What is Gentle Parenting?
Gentle parenting is a positive approach to parenting that removes blame, punishment, and shame. It’s considered a deviation from the “authoritative parenting” style that is still largely dominant today. This modern approach to parenting focuses on empathy, respect, and understanding to raise confident and independent children.
It’s a more collaborative form of parenting, focusing on dialogue between child and parent. This parenting method is built on compassion and boundaries. Instead of using the threat of punishment, gentle parenting ensures discipline through connection and communication.
Sarah Ockwell-Smith, the author of ‘The Gentle Parenting Book’, describes the parenting style as being defined by “empathy, understanding, and respect”. If you’re starting to see high-risk behavior in your teenager, adopting this parenting approach might provide a turning point in your relationship.
Common Misconceptions
Gentle parenting isn’t a lifestyle, even if social media might make it look like one. This parenting technique is one of the biggest conversations happening right now, thanks to influencers on platforms like Instagram and TikTok.
While it might appear as a boundary-free philosophy, gentle parenting doesn’t completely remove discipline and boundaries. It rejects anger and an “I told you so” approach to parenting.
The goal of this parenting method is to use positive reinforcement to build a strong bond with your child and give them the values to carry through life. Gentle parenting can help reduce anxiety, improve social skills, and boost confidence.
The Benefits of Gentle Parenting
The approach offers benefits for both parent and child, allowing each side to form boundaries and build a relationship built on trust and communication. Gentle parenting provides ways for children to assert themselves respectfully.
A teen life coach can help you decide if gentle parenting is the right option for you, but several benefits might already attract you to the approach:
· Lower Anxiety Levels
Research shows that gentle parenting can reduce anxiety amongst children and teenagers, including helping to “promote regulated responses in social contexts”. If you’re working with a youth life coach to help a teenager with anxiety, adopting a gentle parenting approach may be ideal for you.
If you’re trying to support your teenager at school, gentle parenting can help them cope with exam stress and boost their academic performance.
· Improved Social Skills
Gentle parenting’s focus on empathy, respect, and boundaries gives children positive life lessons that build better social skills they can take with them throughout life.
· Mutual Respect
Respect is one of the cornerstones of the gentle parenting philosophy. Adopting this approach forms a long-term bond with your teenager based on mutual respect. If you want to teach your children respect, lead by example.
Your child is more likely to have positive role models, and you’ll be laying the foundations for a positive relationship when your child becomes an adult.
· Better Parent-Child Relationship
You might be exploring teen life coaching to help you build a better bond with your child. Research shows that gentle parent’s focus on support and communication develops more positive parent-child relationships and better long-term mental health.
Is Gentle Parenting Too Gentle?
Gentle parenting isn’t without its critics and it’s not for everyone. You’ll find dozens of articles criticizing this philosophy, largely from those outside of the millennial and Gen-Z age groups driving its popularity.
It’s possible to take elements from the approach and make them your own. Ultimately, gentle parenting is a philosophy rather than a playbook. It won’t completely remove the challenges, tantrums, or mental pressures of raising children and teenagers. While most people agree with gentle parenting in theory, it doesn’t always work in practice.
A youth life coach can help you decide if gentle parenting is the right solution for you. Life coaches for young adults can offer practical advice on implementing the philosophy into your everyday interactions. Gentle parenting will look different for every parent and child, but the key is to start small.
You won’t instantly change from authoritative to gentle parenting overnight. It’s a day-by-day process that requires patience and goodwill. Even the most committed parents can find themselves struggling to live by this philosophy every day. A family life coach can become part of your support system and offer professional, practical advice on implementing gentle parenting practices into your relationship.
What to Consider When Gentle Parenting Teenagers
Gentle parenting isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. You’ll need to have structure and discipline to avoid enabling and allowing poor behavior to continue. What makes this approach a challenge for some parents is the level of patience and persistence required, especially with teenagers. This challenge can feel even greater if you were brought up with a different parenting approach.
If you’re adopting gentle parenting with a teenager, it may take some time to adjust. It’s best to start small when incorporating gentle parenting practices. Start by adapting the way you speak to take a more empathetic approach. Instead of telling your teenager to “do your homework”, suggest that they should “do your homework so you can relax the rest of the evening.
Do you have questions about gentle parenting and how it can help you and your teenager? Book a free consultation to learn how teen life coaching can support you or your family.
