We all have to let off a little steam from time to time. Venting and complaining are something we all do, but they’re often wrongly considered to be the same thing. While complaining can have a negative impact, venting can be healthy. It’s easy to be confused about how the two differ, as there’s often a fine line between complaining and venting about something.
If you’re the person listening, it’s easy to think they’re the same thing, as both can come from a place of anger, frustration, and sadness. While venting is healthy and can help us feel at peace, complaining can negatively impact relationships and lead to conflict.
As a teen life coach, I often see clients confuse venting vs complaining. When we vent, we’re getting something off our chest. When we complain, we’re asking for something to change. This article explores venting vs complaining and why venting is an important (and healthy!) part of life.
Table of Contents:
What’s the Difference between Venting vs Complaining?
Why Venting is Important
Why Do We Vent?
Why Complaining is a Problem
Chronic Complaining
Alternatives to Venting and Complaining
Summary:
- While venting is healthy and can help us feel at peace, complaining can negatively impact relationships and lead to conflict.
- The main difference between venting vs complaining is how we feel afterwards. Venting feels therapeutic. By comparison, when we complain, we often have negative feelings afterwards.
- Venting and complaining both come from anger. While venting is a healthy way of staying in touch with our emotions, it requires us to have someone to vent to.
What’s the Difference Between Venting vs Complaining?
Venting is letting off steam and usually a short release of emotions, such as anger and frustration. Often, we vent to get over a situation and move forward or find our next step. Venting can be healthy by allowing us to stay in tune with our emotions. It can allow us to build positive relationships with others.
By comparison, complaining is often a passive activity. It focuses on the negatives in life and often comes from a sense of powerlessness. Complaining can negatively impact our relationships with others by creating negative energy. While we all complain from time to time, being a chronic complainer can quickly start to take a toll on your mental health and relationships.
Why Venting is Important
The main difference between venting vs complaining is how we feel afterwards. When we finish venting, we often feel like there’s a weight off our chest and more relaxed afterward. Venting feels therapeutic. By comparison, when we complain, we often have negative feelings afterwards. While you’ll feel better after venting, you’ll usually feel worse after complaining.
Why Do We Vent?
Venting is a way of managing the stress of everyday life, whether it’s at home, work, or school. It’s a healthy way of improving our mental and physical health by reducing stress and the associated health risks. Having a support system allows you to vent and reduce daily stress, whether it’s talking to a family member or friend. Venting reduces stress and improves our overall well-being.
How to identify healthy venting:
- You’ve considered your emotions before starting the conversation, reflecting on how you feel.
- You deliberately decide to have the conversation and choose when it happens, such as making a phone call to a friend or meeting up with a family member.
- The other person is genuinely listening and engaging with your venting and providing feedback.
- Both the person venting and the person listening feel respected and heard.
Why Complaining is a Problem
While we all complain from time to time, complaining too much can quickly become a problem. It stops us from being productive by festering negative energy, holding us back from progressing our emotions, or realizing our potential.
When we complain, we usually have someone listening to us to validate our feelings. However, if the other person doesn’t validate our feelings, it can lead to us feeling angry towards them. By comparison, when we vent, we’re not looking for validation, just a space to talk about our feelings.
Chronic Complaining
Do you know someone who complains every day? They’re not only a drain on their own energy, but they also negatively impact the mood of other people around them. If someone is complaining a lot, there are steps you can take to avoid being dragged down by their behavior.
Validate the person’s feelings but don’t offer advice, as this can create a vicious circle where the complainer will focus even more on their negative feelings. After you’ve validated, try changing the subject to a neutral topic.
Alternatives to Venting and Complaining
Venting and complaining both come from anger. It’s a natural emotion and one we should all find healthy ways to cope with. While venting is a healthy way of staying in touch with our emotions, it requires us to have someone to vent to.
Here are five alternatives to venting to deal with anger positively:
1. Breathing exercises
Instead of venting or complaining, stop and take a breath. A simple breathing exercise is one of the most effective relaxation techniques. Even a few seconds of mindful breathing can help you control your anger and calm down.
2. Meditation
Meditation can help you connect with your emotions and ground yourself in the present. If you feel like complaining or venting, it’s usually a good time to practice meditation. You can download a meditation app to use on the go or start practicing techniques like breathing exercises or yoga to control your anger and reflect on your feelings.
Read more: Meditation vs Mindfulness
3. Talk to a life coach
If you’re complaining more, it might be time to speak to a life coach. They’re a neutral third-party who can help you understand your emotions and offer a supportive ear to your problems. They can allow you to look at situations in a new light to understand the driving force behind your feelings.
Read more: What is a life coach?
4. Exercise
Exercise is one of the best forms of meditation and it gives you a chance to get in touch with your emotions. If you’re feeling angry, a workout can give you something positive to channel your emotions into. Avoid choosing a workout where you’re letting out aggression and instead choose one that creates a positive feeling.
5. Be proactive
Identifying what makes us feel angry can allow us to be proactive and address the root cause of it. For example, if a relationship with a friend leaves you feeling angry and frustrated, it might be more proactive to cut ties and remove the negativity from your life. Understanding our emotions can allow us to take proactive steps to reduce anger and frustration in our daily lives.
Addressing Anger and Frustration with Teen Life Coaching
Are you or your child feeling anger and frustration in your day-to-day life? Book a free consultation to find out how young adult life coaching can help you positively channel your emotions.
